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Hey Dudes!

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty tired of rich people telling me how to live my life.

It really kicked off during the lockdowns—remember when they kept going on about how easy it was to stay indoors? Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s real easy to stay inside… when you live in a fucking mansion. In South Africa, we’ve got millions of people living in tin shacks, packed into tiny rooms with entire families. How the hell is it easy for them to just “stay inside”?

Then it moved on to billionaires and celebrities telling us to reduce our emissions—while flying around in private jets. The hypocrisy is insane. And of course, this has become yet another topic where if you even question anything about it, you get accused of “not caring about the environment.” Like… I can care about the environment and still think celebrities are assholes, right?

These topics always seem to have a weird culty vibe to them. You’re expected to fully agree, never question anything, and just smile while it all sounds more and more dodgy. It’s exhausting.

And of course, now the big companies have jumped on board too—not to save the environment, but to save or make more money. In the UK, major supermarkets have started vacuum-sealing their mince. They say it’s to “reduce plastic” and help the planet—but really it’s so they can stack more and save on transport costs. Also, have you tried cooking that stuff? Total nightmare.

Wine bottles and all kinds of stuff are switching to paper too—again, supposedly “for the planet.” But let’s be real: paper’s cheaper than glass, and you still pay more for it. It’s like if a company slaps a “climate-friendly” sticker on their packaging, they can charge extra—and you’re just supposed to be okay with it because it means you’re a “good person.”

Well, guess what? I am a good person. And I’m tired of being told what I need to buy or do to prove it.

Oh yeah, and don’t get me started on hotels. They stick those little signs in the bathroom asking you to reuse towels and take shorter showers “for the environment.” Please. It’s about saving them a shitload of money, not the planet. You give up more and more, but the prices keep going up anyway. Sure, I’ll reuse my towel and take a shorter shower if you bring the price down a little.

One last thing—and this one really pissed me off. We were on a food tour in Edinburgh. Paid upfront, not cheap. We went to four different places, and just before the last one, the guide said if anyone was full, let her know so she could tell the restaurant not to make the dessert—to “reduce waste.” One lady asked if we’d get a refund if we skipped the dessert. The guide said no, because she’d already paid the restaurant.

Bullshit. If I’ve paid for it, I want it—even if I just take it to go. She was clearly going to pocket the money for any uneaten desserts and hide behind the “no waste” excuse. That’s not saving the planet—that’s scamming people.

Anyway, my cartoons are now 100% vegan and climate-change friendly, so I’m charging 10% more. And if you don’t support me, you’re a bad person.

I’m gonna be rich! I can already feel myself wanting to tell you to reduce your carbon footprint—from my private jet.

Sweet! Chat laters!

G